Goodbye to Yesterday
by Esquinzo
Summary: I watched ESC yesterday, that's what came out of it. Season 3/01. JIBBS-ish
1. Chapter 1

I don't know how many of you watched ESC last night, but although my personal favorite Great Britain unfortunately wasn't much better than Germany it was a great show and gave me quite a bit of the inspiration I've lacked lately (Estonia's song was just too JIBBS-y to pass up the occassion). Hope you'll enjoy.

 **-DISCLAIMER: I OWN NEITHER NCIS AND ITS CHARACTERS NOR "GOODBYE TO YESTERDAY" BY ELINA BORN AND STIG RÄSTA-**

* * *

 _Goodbye to Yesterday_

He was sitting at his desk wishing for his boat to distract him when all he could think about was the redhead up in the corner office. His mind reeled, he felt lightheaded as he buried his head in his hands, ignoring the questioning look from DiNozzo and McGee. They blamed it on his grief though, so there was no reason to worry they might find out what this really was about.

There was a killer on the loose, but all of them were too numb to really function, not with the drama that happened earlier today. He could still hear her body slamming to the ground, her eyes staring surprised at him, even when she had been long since dead, till DiNozzo had closed them. Gibbs looked up in time to see their new Mossad side-kick taking her place at Kate's desk, feeling even worse at the sight. It had taken him a long time to accept that this was Kate's desk, not Jenny's anymore, and he had the feeling it would take him even longer to adjust now. It seemed as if all its occupants went away, with a mess to clean up at his hands.

His thoughts went to Jenny once again, like they had done constantely all day. He couldn't believe she came back as his boss, as Director nonetheless. This was karma biting his ass, and he knew it. It came like a shock, a hurricane on his tortured mind. When she turned around in front of him everything else was whipped away. She was the dominating force in his thoughts, always had been, always would be. He wasn't sure if there was a "would" left though, she'd made it clear she wasn't interested.

He took his mobile and his jacket, strolling over to the elevator. Maybe he could catch a few hours of sleep on one of the slabs in Autopsy and she would be out of his head by the time he woke up again.

* * *

"Personally, I think it is good that you're here again, my dear. It will certainly help to get him through this when he knows his partner's by his side again."

"I'm not too sure about this one Ducky. He didn't seem all too happy to see me again."

The redhead sighed and turned around, going over to his desk to pour both of them a cup of tea. Her mind seemed to scream _He isn't my partner anymore_ , but everything else told her he still was. She picked her cup up before she turned to the elderly doctor again. "What was she like? You know, Agent Todd?"

Ducky closed his eyes a moment, taking a steadying breath before he answered. "Funny, caring, nice to be around. A lot like you actually, just not that squeamisch concerning autopsies. I believe that's why Jethro wanted her to join the team in the first place."

She cleared her throat gingerly, this wasn't what she'd hoped to hear. "Was there _more_ to them than just a working relationship?"

The ME arched an eyebrow and gave her a hard look. "I don't know what you hope I'll say Jennifer." She shrugged, averting her eyes. "But I'll answer your question anyways. There wasn't. The closest thing Jethro got to a relationship after you left was his third marriage, and I would call that neither happy nor stable."

Jenny nodded, staring at her tea unseeingly. Her voice was not more than a soft whisper as she finally asked her next question. "Do you think he's missed me as much as I've missed him?"

* * *

He exited the elevator, having resisted the urge to just stop it and forget everything; Ari, Kate, Jenny. He strolled over to the automatic doors of Autopsy. They opened with their usual _whoosh_ and he was face to face with his new boss once again. She didn't seem to notice him, her eyes glistening with what seemed to be tears as she turned to Ducky and asked "Do you think he's missed me as much as I've missed him?"

He was furious, livid, as he saw her petite frame crouching on the ME's chair, her crimson hair falling like a curtain in front of her face. He'd given her a second chance, and she'd turned him down without a second thought, the only thing she'd wanted was for him not to make this difficult.

"Jennifer-" Ducky began, nervously looking over to Gibbs.

"I think that's my story to tell." He said harshly, his voice raw. Jenny's head whipped around to him, she gasped in surprise at his angry expression. "Give us a minute, would you Duck?" He more commanded than asked, and the Scot nodded before he hurried out of autopsy.

"Jethro-"

"Safe it Jen, I don't want to hear it. What do you think this is? Some kind of fun? A game? I sure feel like I've been played." He hit the desk with his fist, taking satifaction in the way she startled. "I told you I missed you, there's no need to act all unsecure around Ducky." He yelled, his temper flaring.

"You're grieving Jethro! What do you expect me to do? Being a distraction till you're done mourning?" He was silent, his hard gaze trained on her eyes, forcing her to say something. "I didn't even know how much there was going on between you and her-"

"Nothing."

"But I couldn't know that. It's just so much like back then, when I was still on your team. Me, you, two other guys at the sidelines. The whole situation is just so similar, how was I supposed to know that your relationship wasn't?"

The fury was still etched into his features as he turned to look at her again. "You thinkin' I fuck all my female co-workers?"

"That's what it was for you? Fucking your co-worker? I hope it had enough appeal for you." She hissed.

"Couldn't have meant more to you either." He lashed back, taking a few steps towards her till they were nose to nose.

"It meant the world to me, but clearly to you it didn't." She wanted to rush past him, but he grabbed her arm, keeping her in place.

"You were the one who left." Gibbs forced through gritted teeth.

"And you've just proved that it was the right choice. My love was never going to be enough for you. I took my things and was out of the way."

"You didn't even give me the chance to convince you to stay, I'm pretty sure I would've told you to stop."

"And then what?" Jenny asked flatly. She looked tired, exhausted. "We would've gone on like we'd done before? You holding back and me trying to make it work? It would've broken me Jethro. I had to get out before it was too late."

"We were happy Jen."

"Were we? When I woke you at night, because you were tossing and turning around you wouldn't tell me what it was, instead you'd go to the living room where I'd find you the next morning, an empty bottle of Bourbon next to you. You didn't trust me, Jethro."

"I trusted you with my life."

"But not with your heart and that's why we would never have worked." She put her hand on his cheek, enjoying the feeling of him leaning into her touch. "I'm sorry I left."

"I'm sorry too."

He put his arms around her, craddling her like he used to do when they were still together. "You think we can ever make it work, Jen?"

She shook her head. "Not today Jethro."

"Never?"

She shook her head again. "I don't know. I hope we can. Just not today."

He nooded, pressing a kiss to the crown of her head. "I'll try Jen." He said gruffly, smiling for what felt like the first time in six years.

"Me too."

* * *

I woke up at six AM,  
my eyes were closed but my mind was awake,  
pretended I was breathing in a deep sleep pace

Got dressed so quietly,  
I was frozen by the jingle of my keys at the door  
as I got outside I smiled to the dog

I didn't wanna wake you up,  
my love was never gonna be enough,  
so I took my things and got out of the way now, girl

Why didn't you wake me up?  
I'm pretty sure I would have told you to stop,  
let's try again and say goodbye  
Goodbye to yesterday

Why would you think like that  
yeah, we fight a lot, but in the end,  
you and I, we're a perfect match

I wouldn't want it any other way,  
but now your gone and I'm all alone,  
lying here naked and staring at the phone

I didn't wanna wake you up,  
my love was never gonna be enough,  
so I took my things and got out of the way now, girl

Why didn't you wake me up?  
I'm pretty sure I would have told you to stop,  
let's try again and say goodbye,  
Goodbye to yesterday

I didn't wanna wake you up,  
my love was never gonna be enough,  
so I took my things and got out of the way now, girl

Why didn't you wake me up?  
I'm pretty sure I would have told you to stop,  
let's try again and say goodbye,  
Goodbye to yesterday

Goodbye to yesterday

Ooh, goodbye to yesterday

* * *

If that isn't like Paris, then I don't know. Just scratch 'girl' and leave a review xD.


	2. Chapter 2

Yeah, I know it's been a while since I last updated anything here (about two weeks, but it feels sooooo much longer xD), but there is this really great German song you should listen to, even if you don't know the language, because it's just plain amazing. So, the song is _Bye Bye_ by Cro, and there are a few passages that fit Jibbs quite well (it's more like just the chorus fits them in a way, actually). Hope you'll enjoy (I swear it isn't as sad as it may seem now).

 **-DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN BYE BYE BY CRO-**

* * *

BYE BYE

Days had passed after their heart-to-heart in autopsy, then weeks, then the first month. He was tired of waiting, and he thought she knew it, as she was deliberately avoiding being alone with him. It hurt to think that she was through with _them_ , and it hurt even more that she couldn't bring herself to just tell him, that instead things turned akward between them.

Gibbs sighed. Tony and Ziva were bickering again, annoying the shit out of McGee and him but at the same time reminding him so much of how _they_ 'd used to be when they had still been in DC with Pacci and Burley that he just couldn't bring himself to tell them to stop.

"Going for coffee", he grumbled, taking his coat and his badge before tucking his sidearm into the holster on his hip. "Call me if we get a case."

His team nodded as he strolled over to the elevator, hitting the button to call up the cart maybe a tad too hard.

* * *

She sat in her office, pen in hand, paperwork in front of her. She hadn't read a word in what felt like hours, and if he was on her thoughts any longer, she wouldn't have done anything by the time she got home. Jenny opened one of the drawers, gingerly taking out one of the documents in it. It was an old case file, dated back in 1999. It was their undercover assignments, including their mission and the orders for the sanctioned hits they had to make, but, far more importantly to her, also their fake wedding bands, their wedding photo, and a note on further assignments.

Him being ordered to come back to DC, her being ripped away from him to go to Spain. She could have declined the offer if only she had thought he'd loved her enough. She had doubted him, never as an agent, never his abilities in the field, but his abilities to let her in. And at times, she still did.

He had been awfully closed up when the Kyle Boon case came back to bite him in the ass, and even when she had gone to great lengths to be able to catch him if he'd fallen, he hadn't opened up to her. So she'd cut herself off from the illusion he could ever trust her enough to let her in, had thought it would hurt less in the long run, but even if she knew it was for the best, she still felt as if a part of her had been ripped away.

Jenny looked at the picture for a long time. They were smiling, looking happy. She remembered the day the photo was taken, they hadn't been together for long and hadn't shared more than a few kisses, but it had felt special to her. _She_ 'd felt special, as if for the first time since her father had died, she really mattered to someone.

She didn't know when it had gone so wrong. If it was her who hadn't had enough sympathy or if it was him who wouldn't even let her try to mend them once they'd felt broken.

She put the file back into the drawer, she couldn't spend to much time on going over the same things again and again, sometimes she had to accept them the way they were.

* * *

He ordered a coffee and while waiting for his order, he decided it couldn't hurt to hold a gun to certain redhead's head _(I really hope that this is the correct idiomatic expression here!)_. So he paid for a second cup and took both of them with him to her office. Bypassing Cynthia in his usual way he barged into her office, hoping she wouldn't be talking to someone important what would ruin his chances to get a more or less civil conversation.

"Jen", he said, putting the cup on her desk as he took the seat in front of her.

"Jethro", she greeted back, her glasses still perched on her nose as her eyes flew over the paper in front of her. "What can I do for you?"

"We have to talk", he stated bluntly.

She arched a well-manicured eyebrow and took her glasses off. "You don't talk, Jethro." She turned to her computer, seemingly engrossed in whatever she was doing.

"Yes, I do when I deem it absoulutely necessary."

"Well, I don't see why it would be necessary for you to talk, but go ahead if it makes you feel better."

"It's about you, Jen. You and me actually." Her breath caught a little, just enough for him to her, but way too little for him to identify what it meant. "You've become cold, Jen, you've put your mask on, you don't show any real emotions, you neither laugh nor smile anymore." He waited for her to argue, to defend herself, but she didn't. "You aren't the Jen I knew anymore. You avoid me, we don't talk to each other anymore, we don't have fun, we don't tease each other. What's happened?"

"Since when?" She asked flatly. "Since I left in Paris? Or since we talked in autopsy?"

"Both."

"I am just not the same woman I was anymore. Things change, feelings change, people change. You too, Jethro."

"So you don't think we could make it work some day?" He wanted to know.

She shook her head, tears welling up in her eyes. "It's too late, Jethro. You still haven't learned how to fully trust me, and I am not sure if I can wait much longer."

"So you just want to give it up? Give _us_ up? Everything we had, everything we could still have? You don't think it's worth it in the end?"

"Sometimes it's just too late, and you have to accept that. When I left you in Paris, I never expected to meet you again some day. And yet here we are, still making the same mistakes as ever. In the end, we are who we are. We had a second chance and we let it slip through our fingers. There's nothing we can do." A lone tear was running down her cheek but neither he nor she cared.

"What if I don't want to give up on us?", he asked agitated. "What if I don't think our second chance has slipped away just yet?" He stood up and went around the desk, placing his hands on her shoulders. "I won't change at a moment's notice, but I'm willing to try. Boon is one of the most cruel persons I have ever encountered. I didn't want to exclude you Jen, I wanted to shield you. I'm sorry I didn't voice my feelings back then, but I just couldn't put them into words."

He framed her face with his hands. "Jen, we can work. I know we can. And if you are willing to hold on to our second chance, so am I."

He didn't wait for her response as he touched his lips to hers.

* * *

Es ist ein unglaublich schöner Tag  
Draußen ist es warm  
Er ist auf dem Weg nach Hause mit der Bahn  
Schaut aus dem Fenster, lässt Gedanken freien Lauf  
Lehnt sich ganz entspannt zurück  
Denn er muss lange noch nicht raus  
'n paar Menschen steigen ein, andere wieder aus  
Er wechselt grad das Lied  
Und plötzlich stand da diese Frau  
Und er dachte sich "Wow"  
Sagte: "Klar, der Platz ist frei"  
Sie lachte und er dachte sich nur

Das ist das Schönste, was du je gesehen hast  
Und sie hat sicherlich keinen Mann  
Stell dich nicht so an (an)  
Wenn nicht jetzt, wann (dann)?  
Doch alles, was man hört ist mein Herzschlag

Was soll ich nur sagen  
Irgendwas knockt mich aus  
Ich bin ein Versager, weil ich mich doch nicht trau'  
Mein Kopf ist voller Wörter, doch es kommt nichts raus  
Und sie steht auf  
Und steigt aus

Bye bye, bye bye meine Liebe des Lebens  
Und ja, wir beide werden uns nie wieder sehen  
Kann schon sein, dass man sich im Leben zweimal begegnet  
Doch es beim zweiten Mal dann einfach zu spät ist

Es ist ein unglaublich schöner Tag  
Draußen ist es warm  
Sie hat Bock auf Shopping also in die Stadt  
Sie braucht so Sachen, die Frauen halt eben brauchen  
'nen Bikini, 'ne neue Tasche und außerdem will sie schauen  
Also los, ab in die Bahn  
Sie zieht sich nen Ticket  
Vier Siebzig für die Fahrt  
Ist ja ganz schön hart  
Doch dann sieht sie diesen Typ  
Findet ihn süß  
Setzt sich extra zu ihm hin und denkt sich:

Es ist ganz egal, was du jetzt sagen würdest  
Ich spring darauf an  
Du bist mein Mann (Mann)  
Wir gehören zusammen (sammen)  
Wenn nicht jetzt, wann (dann)?  
Ich hör mein Herz,

Was soll ich nur sagen  
Irgendwas knockt mich aus  
Ich bin ein Versager, weil ich mich doch nicht trau'  
Mein Kopf ist voller Wörter, doch es kommt nichts raus  
Und sie steht auf  
Und steigt aus

Bye bye, bye bye meine Liebe des Lebens  
Und ja, wir beide werden uns nie wieder sehen  
Kann schon sein, dass man sich im Leben zweimal begegnet  
Doch es beim zweiten Mal dann einfach zu spät ist

es beim zweiten Mal dann einfach zu spät ist  
es beim zweiten Mal dann einfach zu spät ist  
es beim zweiten Mal dann einfach zu spät ist

Was soll ich nur sagen  
Irgendwas knockt mich aus  
Ich bin ein Versager, weil ich mich doch nicht trau'  
Mein Kopf ist voller Wörter, doch es kommt nichts raus  
Und sie steht auf  
Und steigt aus

Bye bye, bye bye meine Liebe des Lebens  
Und ja, wir beide werden uns nie wieder sehen  
Kann schon sein, dass man sich im Leben zweimal begegnet  
Doch es beim zweiten Mal dann einfach zu spät ist

* * *

 _I admit that this song was more of an inspiration, and it doesn't fit Jenny and Gibbs as well as Goodbye to Yesterday, but it's on the radio like all the time in Germany (at least on my station) and it deserves some tribute._

 _Please leave a review!_


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